


I Want You, Do You Want Me?

by uniquecellest



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec didn't, Alec is a wreck, Alec just wants Magnus back, And has no idea if Alec moved on, Angst, At least line references, Camille kidnaps Magnus, Good thing they have their sons, Happy Ending, How I Met Your Mother References, Insecure Magnus, Izzy Jace Clary Simon Maia and Luke also try to help, M/M, for five years, hurt!Magnus, married Malec, mental and emotional torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-04-22 15:17:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14311527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uniquecellest/pseuds/uniquecellest
Summary: One day Magnus came home to find Camille in his and Alec's apartment. The next thing he knew he was being ambushed. For the next five years Magnus is hidden somewhere that he doesn't know. The only news he ever gets is what Camille gives him. He's given up hope of ever being found, of being with his Alexander and their sons again.........One day Alec came home to find the apartment trashed and Magnus nowhere to be found. For the next five years as Alec struggles with being a single parent, he also searches for Magnus and the person or persons that took him. One day after five years of a Magnus-less life Alec and the others stumble upon a deserted building (even to those in the Shadow World) and finds Magnus.It gets worse when Magnus thinks that Alec may have moved to someone else and leaves again.Can they ever get back to where they were before? How can Max and Rafael deal with seeing their lost father?





	1. Chapter 1

"Camille, what are you doing here?" Magnus growls. He has come home after a client to wait for Alexander and their sons, Max and Rafael (three and five-years-old respectively), only to find Camille sitting on the island in the kitchen. Her blonde hair in curls, in one of those half-up half-down bun hairdos, wearing a tight red dress and matching red heels.

"I came to visit you." She says it as if it's the most simple thing in the world. As if they were two old friends catching up and not that they are ex-lovers and she cheated on him and abused him.

"Why?" He tries to keep the growl and venom out of his voice. She knows him too well. Besides Alec, if he givens even the slightest of indication that more than two people live here, she'll find out about Max and Rafe, and Lilith knows what she will do to his two sons.

"I've missed you." She hops off the island and walks over to him; she tries to caress his cheek but he moves away.

"I haven't missed you."

"Don't be so harsh Magnus."

"Get out."

"Why? I----Oh! You're still with that Nephilim, aren't you?"

Magnus feels something boil deep within him when she says 'Nephilim.' As if Alec is just some object that Magnus will get bored of at some point and throw his husband to the curve. Part of him relaxes at the fact that she has yet to notice the ring on his hand and a mundane tattoo of the marriage rune on his forearm. 

"Now, now Magnus. No need to get testy." 

Camille starts to circle him before she stops and whistles. The next thing Magnus knows is that he sees at least four more vampires appear. He's about to blast them all away when he feels something hit the back of his head. He falls to the ground, his heart beating fast. He can feel it accelerate at the thought of being kidnapped and murdered, at the thought of never seeing Alec and their sons again. (Because Magnus is half-demon (half-fallen angel if you want to get technical) and surely, demons do not get to go to heaven.)

* * *

When Alec arrives home with the boys from the Institute, he can all ready feel that something is wrong with his and Magnus's home before he even walks through the door. Entering the sitting room Alec sees blood droplets and some glass on the floor.

"Boys, go to your room."

"Why Dad? We're looking for Papa."

Alec can feel something squeeze in his chest. His sons are too young to be exposed to something like this. Whatever happened here, it has something to do with Magnus, Alec can feel it. Whatever it is, it's bad and he doesn't need their sons to see.

"Just go. I'll come get you when dinner is ready."

The two children do not put up much protest and leave. When he hears their bedroom door close, Alec goes to his and Magnus's room and pulls out one of Magnus's shirts from the closet. Activating his tracking rune Alec concentrates on Magnus.

Nothing.

Nothing is coming up. He tries again with something else that belongs to Magnus. Again, nothing. Blinking back tears, Alec calls Jace. He has to do this. He has to track Magnus with Jace; he knows that if he doesn't he'll go into despair and look for Magnus all on his own. Magnus wouldn----doesn't want it.

 

When Jace comes over he and Alec try a few times with no such luck. The blonde then follows him and they sit on the couch.

"Who. . . . who would have done this? I know we have enemies, but who hates Magnus enough to take him? Who hates me enough to take him?"

"Don't look at me." Jace tries to joke.

"This isn't a time for one of your lame jokes, Jace."

"Okay, man. How about I take some of the evidence back to the Institute and Izzy and I will start a search for him, you stay here with the boys."

"Yeah, yeah, okay."

"Speaking of Max and Rafe, what are you going to tell them?"

"That Magnus is away on business."

"What if he's gone longer than that?"

"I don't know, but hopefully it doesn't have to come to that."

They hug one last time before Jace takes sweeps up the glass and takes up some blood with him. All the blonde hopes for is that Magnus is all right because he is terrified about what will happen to Alec if Magnus isn't.

Alec closes the front door behind Jace and goes to they boys' room. He knocks before he opens it. "Hey," Alec says as he opens the door to see Max on the floor playing with his blocks and Rafael is on his bed playing with his action figures.

"Daddy!" Both children exclaim as they stop what they're doing.

"Daddy, what's wrong?" Rafe asks.

"Listen, boys, Papa has left for a little bit to deal with some business. He says that it was unexpected and that he has no idea when he'll be back."

Alec doesn't remember what happens after that, he knows that they talk some more but it ends up with both boys embracing him and Alec returning it. In the back of his head he can hear Jace asking about what Alec will tell them if it takes them even longer to find Magnus. Alec has no idea what he will tell them. He just knows that he has to find Magnus, his life, his heart, before it comes to that.

* * *

Magnus groans awake. He can feel something heavy against his wrists and ankles, he also feels a bit weightless, indicating to Magnus that he is shackled and being suspended in air.

"He's awake, finally." A sickly-sweet voice says.

Magnus's head snaps up to see Camille as she walks her way over to him. Her hair is still the same, but now she's in a high-waisted black skirt, a long-sleeve black shirt, and black heels.

"Camille, let me go. Let me go before Alec finds you and I will convince him not to kill you. I won't even turn you over to The Clave."

"Oh, Magnus, haven't you learned? You're mine and you always will be. And the Nephilim? He'll probably move on after you have been out of his life for a while. He'll move on or he'll die. Either way, by the time you two see each other again you two won't even recognize one another that you'll realize that you weren't even compatible in the first place. Besides, do you think he'll still want you after this?"

"After wha----" Magnus doesn't finish. He feels Camille pull down his pants and boxers. He feels her fangs at his thigh, he hopes she isn't going to do what he thinks----Magnus hisses in pain when he feels her fangs sink in.

Then he feels himself being lowered on to the floor. Camille removes her fangs and when Magnus is lying on the floor, Camille straddles him. She starts kissing his neck even when he tries to shake her off. He tries to use his magic but it isn't coming out as it normally would.

_Must be some magic binding enchanted cuffs_ , Magnus thinks. Squeezing his eyes shut Magnus lets his mind wonder to Alec and their sons. What would have happened if this didn't happen. He and Alec were planning on having ravioli for dinner with some shells and cheese and some steamed broccoli. His and Alec's anniversary is coming up soon and Magnus planned on proposing to Alec again so they could renew their vows. How he loves his Nephilim in gold. Their sons would be the ring bear and flower-boy. It was supposed to be a good day.

Hours later, long after Camille has left, Magnus is in the fettle position on the floor, shivering. He feels icky and dirty. He wants to take a shower and scrub his entire skin off. For the first time since he's been kidnapped, Magnus lets a tear out. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

It's been several months that Magnus has been missing, at least it feels like that to Alec. He wants to desperately find Magnus and bring him home. Over the time that Magnus has been missing, Max and Rafe used to come excited, hoping that Magnus has come back from 'work' and everyday Alec watches as their faces deflate when he tells them 'no.' It doesn't help that one day he notices that they don't ask about Magnus anymore. As if Magnus has just left them without a reason, that's when he decides to sit them down.

"Boys," Alec says as Max and Rafe sit on the couch and he sits on the coffee table. This is going to be a difficult conversation to have and he needs to look directly at them as they have it. "Remember when I said that Papa went away on business and that he didn't know when he would return?"

Max's ears perk up. "Is he here? Is Papa finally home?"

Alec feels a stone settle on top of his heart with the words he is about to say. "No, he isn't back. In fact that was a lie. Papa was kidnapped that day----"

"Kidnapped?!" Rafael speaks up. "Who took Papa? Why did they take him?"

"We don't know, Rafe. Your aunts, uncles, and I have been looking everywhere we can for him, who ever has him is keeping him somewhere that is unknown to us."

"Daddy, will we ever get Papa back? Will we ever see him again?"Max inquires.

"Will we?" Rafe echoes.

"I don't know."

At that both boys get up, clench their fists and start yelling that their words mix. "Whoever has him will pay!" "I'll make them regret taking Papa!" and other similar phrases.

"Boys, I appreciate that you want to find Papa just as much as the rest of us, but the trail is getting cold."

The boys calm down and the last few or so words Alec speaks. "Does that mean that we  _won't_ see him again?"

"I don't know. I want to tell you two that Papa will be found and back home, safe and sound, but I can't. I can't see the future and I can't protect you two from this inevitable truth, no matter how much I want to." A thick silence falls between them. "I'm going to start dinner, you two go wash up."

As soon as they disassemble and go on their respective ways, Alec receives a call just as he puts a pan on the stove to start boiling water. It's Jace. "Hello," he answers grimly.

"By that tone I take it you told them?" Izzy asks, Jace must have his phone on speaker.

"Yes, I told them."

"They didn't take it well, did they?" Jace asks.

"No. They want Magnus found just as much as the rest of us. I just wish there was something I could tell them, that if Magnus is ever found he will either be alive or. . . . or. . . ." a lump forms in Alec's throat. He can't bare to say the word, can't bare to think about if they find Magnus and he is no longer alive.

"Look, I have to go, I have dinner to cook. I love you two, goodbye."

"Bye." His two younger siblings say in unison as they hang up the phone.

* * *

Time passes and before Alec knows it, it's been a year. Then another, and another, and another, and so on before he knows it it's been five-years since Magnus has been kidnapped. Alec has settled in to being a single-parent just fine, but he can't help but feel Magnus's missing presence.  Every year he sees the smiles on their boys faces get smaller and smaller. 

Rafe is the first to give up and starts to close himself up a little bit, as if he's afraid that Alec, Max, and the rest of his new family will all disappear as well. He's also the first to suggest that perhaps Magnus is no longer alive. That led to a huge argument between Rafe and Max that night. It hadn't been an easy night either as it had just passed Magnus's third-year missing and the mark of their first or second (time has really slipped away from Alec since Magnus has been gone) wedding anniversary.

Over time Alec has seen the rest of his friends and family give up. First Simon, then Jace, then Clary, then lastly Izzy.

His parents have been respectable and know that he doesn't want to move on, yet. He over heard someone tell his parents that it takes half the length of a relationship to get over one. While Alec counts him and Magnus still being together even with Magnus missing, he knows that others aren't. To others Alec has only been with Magnus two or three years, and should definitely start trying to move on soon, otherwise Alec is going to go "crazy by filling himself with false hope."

That's when he gets the call.

Jace and Izzy meet him in the control room of the Institute and they fill him in. Five vampires have been causing havoc and chaos, normally they would be under Lily's jurisdiction,  but they're rogue and from some blood one of them left at their crimes, they've been ingesting Warlock-blood, which as an abnormal affect on Vampires, and that includes Nephilim and Seelie blood. Having Warlock blood is like being in caught in a red-light district with something that not even people whom work that would even touch.

Grabbing his bow and arrows, Alec can feel something deep inside of him start to come to light. As if he knows who they will find.


	3. Chapter 3

Magnus hears his cell for the countless time in he does not know how long he has been here. He hears the clanking of Camille's heels against the floor. Magnus lifts his head up to see Camille leaning against the wall, her arms are crossed over her, no expression on her face, her eyes closed. "You know, Magnus, in some countries if a couple is separated for at least five years are technically divorced----even if they never filed for separation or divorce."

Why is Camille telling him this? Why is it relevant?

"Even within Shadowhunter culture it is a common practice." Now he gets it. Alec is a Shadowhunter, and in someways practices what he has been brought up on and others he has completely thrown out the window. Magnus's mind wonders to Alec. What is he doing now? How are the boys? Is Alec still looking for him, or has he given up? Magnus knows that it takes half the length of a relationship to get over it. When he was taken he and Alec had been together for a little over three years, meaning it would take Alec at least a year and a half to get over him, unless he has also been counting some of the years that Magnus has been away. This year would mark it as them being together for seven, and by then it would take Alec three and half years to get over him.  
  


But who is Magnus kidding? Surely, Alec has given up by now. Even if he has not, he must have found someone. Even with five years separated means automatically divorced for Shadowhunters does not mean it is practiced among Warlocks. If Alec is still looking for him and Alec has found someone new he knows that they will have to go through with an actual divorce. Magnus thinks about their kids, Max and Rafe. He has missed so much of their lives and they must have changed so much. As much as Magnus would like to file for custody of them, Alec has more parental control over them than he does. In the end, Magnus knows that he can just gather his things from the loft (or storage, because why would Alec keep his things in the home they once shared?) and he will leave.

Magnus wonders if Alec is even still living in the loft. Whether he is or not, Magnus will have to leave. He cannot be in a place that has so many happy memories of him and Alec, and he will not be able to face Alec and his new lover. Maybe he will go to Canada, or Japan, or maybe he will go back to London or Indonesia.

Camille makes her way over to him, gently touching his cheek. "I have kept an eye on your little Nephilim all these years. For the first few years he has stayed faithful to you and kept searching. But at the three and half year mark, he started to give up. He stopped searching less and less until he stopped, he even found someone new about a year ago."

Magnus snaps his eyes shut as he feels tears start to well in them, something taking a hold of his heart and squeezing it until all the blood in it comes out. "He has officially left you, Magnus. Even if he does find you, may even still want you after this, why would he? I have taken you more times over the last five years than he has the entire time you two were together. Any hope he has of still wanting you will disappear once he knows that I have claimed you."

She places her face in his neck, smelling him, then he feels it. The light graze of her fangs then she sticks her fangs in. It must have been the at most a week since she has last taken some blood from him, and he hisses in pain. Her taking blood from him has not gotten any better over the last five years, he has not gotten used to it, not even once.

Then he hears the door open again, possibly on of her minions.

"Get away from him!" He hears someone growl. Whoever it is takes Camille away from him as Magnus no longer feels her fangs leave him and gust of air. Magnus takes a deep breath, something inside of him telling him that he is safe now. He looks over and sees a familiar silhouette of a very tall man, and familiar black hair. The man is holding Camille's wrists behind her back as he has her pressed against the wall, a seraph blade in one of his hands.

Alec. Alexander. His husb----no, not his husband. Not anymore. Magnus is no longer sure what to call his Alexand----not his, he scolds himself. Alexander is no longer is and has no reason to call him Alexander anymore, he has to call him Alec. It will distance them from each other. It will make moving to another place and their divorce much more easier. 

Alec takes his seraph blade and kills Camille with it, stabbing her in the back. As if it is personal, which it a way it must be, Magnus supposes. When he pulls the blade out and Camille's body falls to the floor, Alec makes his way over to him. He takes the shackles off of Magnus and starts rubbing some circulation into his wrists and ankles. "It is okay, Magnus," Alec whispers to him. "I've got you, I've got you." He picks Magnus up bridal-style. Magnus clutches a handful of Alec's shirt in his fist as he lets the tears out.

It is over. He is finally free of Camille, he will get to go home. But where is home? Alec has moved on and the boys most likely do not even remember Magnus, well maybe Rafael does, but for the most part does not. The tears stream out harder as Magnus knows that he will have to face reality. He and Alec finally filing for divorce, Alec being with someone else, no longer seeing his children as they do not recall him, and leaving the one place that has felt like home.

"It's okay, we'll get you back to the Institute." Alec says, but Magnus barely hears. Magnus cries to the point that he passes out.


	4. Chapter 4

Alec has been pacing outside of Magnus's hospital room for what feels like forever. After killing Camille and destroying her hideout, Alec had rushed back to the Institute with Magnus in his arms, wanting more than anything for Magnus to be all right and still alive.

Five years. Camille ripped away five years of their life together. Magnus has missed so much, but that does not mean he will not be able to be see more now, that Alec has him back.

"Daddy!" He hears and sees his two sons, Max, now eight, and Rafe, now ten, coming towards him. 

"Uncle Jace says you have a surprise," Rafe states.

Alec nods. "Do you two remember Papa?"

"Papa. . . ." Their voices sound so far off and distant that Alec wonders if he should have brought it up. It is not like he does not have pictures of Magnus around the loft, he does, but his boys really never look at the photographs anymore, not unless they are remembering something from before Magnus had been kidnapped. But most of the time they just ignore the pictures of Magnus, having come to the conclusion that he had died.

"From when we were younger? Spinning us in the living room with glitter everywhere?" Max asks. Alec nods, both boys then confirm that they do remember.

"Well, we found him today."

Rafe walks over to Alec and hugs his father. Alec returns it. "I'm so sorry, Daddy, I know how much you loved him and wanted----"

"Rafe," Alec cuts off. "He is not dead. Aunt Izzy is working on him now, but he has a very good chance of pulling through." The last part is a lie, in fact Alec has no idea if Magnus will pull through. Alec knows that Magnus still has a good majority of blood, but they do not know how much of it was tainted by Camille drinking it.

"Alec," Izzy's voice sounds from the doorway. "Can I speak to you?"

"Whatever you say to Daddy, you can say to us." Max states proudly.

Izzy smiles, it is a smile that tells Alec that she appreciates Max trying to be a grown person who can handle anything, but the news she has should not be spoken in front of Max or Rafe. "Boys, why don't you go and ask Uncle Jace if he can show you two anything new in hand-to-hand combat." Max and Rafe take the hint and go off to find Jace. Alec turns to face his sister. "We were able to heal all of the bite marks that Camille used to suck his blood."

"I feel a 'but' in here Izzy."

"He was penetrated. She raped him, Alec. And I bet that penetrating his arse was not her only way of raping him." Alec clenches his fists at his side, knuckles going white as he wishes that he had not killed Camille so he could slam her into a wall. No, Magnus would not want that. Instead Alec starts taking deep breathes to try and calm down. "All I can say for certain is that he will be physically fine in two to three days if he just rests, but I cannot say how he will be mentally and emotionally."

Alec leans against the wall, feeling the cool wall against his heated hands.

"Alec," Izzy starts again. He looks at her. "Within our culture it is law that if a couple if separated for more than five years they are technically divorced. Chances are that even if you and Magnus do go back to married life, The Clave will not see you as married anymore."

"Izzy, that law is for couples who have filed separation papers and are preparing for a divorce but never file any papers for a divorce to be finalized. Camille already took Magnus from me for five years and I m not going to allow some law that most Shadowhunters do not even look all the way into take him from me again."

Izzy smiles. "I am glad that you do have him again. I know that with you by side his side, along with Max and Rafe, he will be all right."

"Thanks Izzy." Alec smiles at her, arms wrapped around her as he looks at Magnus lying on an infirmary bed. Alec does not know what has happened to Magnus over the last half decade, but he is betting that this is the most peaceful that he has been since Camille took him. Alec vows to try and banish everything she has done to Magnus from his mind, even if it takes the rest of Alec's life to do so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I have a new story up called Throughout Time: Meeting Ancestors and Descendants, and the first page posted is wondering which Greater Demon should be the antagonist because I have no idea, but I do give a list of the ones I will not work with.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shortness of the last chapter, I wrote it last night late into the night around 11. Hopefully this makes up for it.

Magnus hears the faint sound of voices and a heart monitor. ". . . . I know how much you loved him. . . ." Is the first thing Magnus hears when he is briefly awake. The voice sounds familiar yet new at the same time, it sounds like Rafe. 

"Rafe," another voice says, sounding like Alexand----Alec. Magnus does not hear the rest of the conversation as he falls back asleep, his heart clenching inside his chest as the darkness consumes him.

When he wakes up again, more permanently this time, he takes in his surroundings. He is in the Institute, in the infirmary. The first place Alec brings him is to the Institute. Any thought he has had about Alec still waiting for him after all these years is shattered. Why would Alec bring him to the infirmary in the Institute and not back to the loft where he could have just called Cat and she could have healed him?

He shivers as if a bucket of ice cold water as been dumped over him. The only reason would be if Alec's new lover is there, his things  mixing with Alec's as Magnus's items are no long along the walls, shelves, dressers, in drawers. He may no longer even have a potion room that he needs for his job. Magnus has no doubt that he is no longer the High Warlock, after all he has been gone for five years. But that thought does not plague his mind as the thought of returning to the loft, not finding any of things anywhere. 

Maybe. . . . Maybe he should find a new place to live first before he asks for his things back. Yes, that way he will not risk running into Alec's new lover, the new father of his children. No, just like Alec is no longer his, neither are Max and Rafe, and it is going to take some time for Magnus to try and start seeing other people again and to stop calling Max and Rafe his sons.

"You are awake, good." Magnus turns and sees Isabelle. Her long her pulled into a bun, a white lab coat covering whatever clothes she is wearing, the ruby necklace still against her chest and has on black heels. "I should call Alec----"

"No!" Magnus feels his heart speed up at the mention of Alec's name, and not how it used to. It is more of a panic, if Alec knows that he is awake then Alec will probably tell him about his new lover or will go on and pretend that he has no new lover and will still be married to Magnus, by Warlock law that is, and perhaps meet his new lover in secret or breaks it off with the new man he loves as to not hurt Magnus's feelings. Both are not realities he wants to face yet. 

"No," Magnus shakes his head as he sees the startled look on Isabelle's face. "No need to stop him from his work."

"Are you sure?"

"I am."

Isabelle gives him an uneasy look, not one of sickness but one that tells him that she is not okay with withholding this information from her older brother. She does not press the subject of telling him further. "Okay, well, I just have to do a couple of tests then I can release you. Oh!" She digs into her pocket and pulls out a key. "It is for you, after Camille kidnapped you, Alec changed the locks and made an extra key for you. He wanted me to give it to you in case you woke while he was not around."

_Or perhaps he did it because he no longer wants me around._ But he does not say that, instead he gives a smile and says "Thank you, Isabelle." He takes the key from her and holds it in his hand, just a simple gold key with the ridges to go in and out of a key hole. Perhaps Alec wants him to have it so that he can get his things, then leave it somewhere in the loft so he no longer has a reminder of his life with Alec.

As Isabelle runs her tests, Magnus gets lost in thought. Maybe he should not gather his things from Alec's home, maybe he should send a fire message and tell Alec to get rid of everything and he can move on with his life. But Magnus knows himself well enough to know that he will not do it, he will go to the loft and gather his things just to see how Alec has changed over the last five years, even if it means seeing pictures of Alec and Max and Rafe with another man, he needs to do this. For closure.

When Isabelle tells him that she is done, he thanks her and he snaps his fingers to change his clothes. He leaves the infirmary and walks out of the Institute.

* * *

Standing outside of the loft, Magnus fiddles with the key in his hand. He chose to ride a subway to Brooklyn instead of using a portal, wanting to prolong his new reality a little longer. Gathering a little bit of courage, Magnus places the key in the lock and turns it, opening the door.

Stepping inside Magnus feels a familiar warmth wash over him with a bit of the cool air. As he steps further inside, into the living room, he sees that everything is the same as it was as the day Camille took him. Pictures of him and Alec together, others with their sons. So, Alec was going to pretend to still be in love with him when he no longer does. 

Magnus walks over to a table that is against the wall that is closest to the living room windows and leads into the hallway that leads to rooms of the loft. On it is a picture of him and Alec, from a time when they were still engaged and were so in love. Magnus longs to have that back with Alec, wanting to play along with Alec's charade until it becomes unbearable, just wanting to have Alec close to him for just one more moment. 

He cannot do that, though. He will not do it. If he does it will only make his heart break more than it already has. He picks the picture frame and gently places his fingers on it, tears gathering in his eyes. Placing the picture down Magnus walks into the hallway, he stops outside of Max and Rafe's room; he longs to see what toys they are playing with now, what their bed sheets look like to see how they have changed, but he cannot. It will be an invasion of their privacy and he has no right to. Taking a deep breath he walks passed the room and goes to the room that he kept his potions in.

Opening the door Magnus sees that Alec has not changed it, he looks in the drawers and closet to see if Alec possibly used it as a storage for his clothes, shoes, and jewelry. Nothing. Every container, cauldron, and ingredient he needs to make any potion he needs, briefly considering making a love potion to use on Alec, or making an anti-love potion for himself so he does not feel romantic love again. He dismisses both thoughts. 

Snapping his fingers, every item in the room shrinks and goes into a couple of mini boxes. The next room is going to be the hardest. The room he shared with Alec, that the Shadowhunter now shares with someone else. Magnus does not know how he does it, but he leaves his now former potion room and enters the main bedroom. The bed sheets are gold, the color for Nephilim to wear when they wed, is it possible that Alec is married to his new lover, or at least both are considering it?

No, Magnus shakes his head. It is not his job to dictate how Alec is living his life now and who Alec chooses to do with it with. All of the things are the same, the bed frame, the dressers. Opening his former closet Magnus sees all of his shirts, jackets, coats, and shoes. Opening his former drawers he sees all of his pants, and sleep clothes. Magnus summons his suit cases and takes everything that is his and packs them away, heart constricting as he thinks of Alec and a faceless man grinning in glee to see that Magnus has gathered his things.

When he has everything packed, he minimizes the suitcase and goes back to the sitting room, he sits on the couch as he lets the tears flow. He summons a piece of paper and a pen. He is going to write Alec a letter, he considers not doing it but this will help Magnus with his closure and it may clear some things up with Alec.

_Dear Alec,_

_Funny, isn't it, as I used to call you Alexander? That I used to be the only the only who did. But I know that you have another, whether he calls you Alec or Alexander I do not know, but I am glad for you. I do know that it is Nephilim law that when a couple is separated for five years they are technically divorced, and while in the eyes of The Clave we may be divorced, it is not that way among Warlock, we need to actually file for divorce and have it finalized._

_Do not worry about me, I have found a new place to live and I will not be a burden to you, your new lover, or Max and Rafe. Max and Rafe, they used to be our boys. Do not worry, as much as I would like to file a custody claim for them, I have been absent from their lives for the last five years and I do not wish to tear them away from the only father they have ever known, or fathers, rather; nor do I want to force them to get to know me. I will have a friend send the divorce papers to you, the ones that I filed and the finalized ones._

_I also saw the loft, how you decorated as if nothing has changed from the day I left. While I appreciate it, I know that that is not how you live your life now. It is with a heavy heart that I tell you that I still you, I am still in love with you and my five years of captivity have not changed that, nor has it changed my love for Max and Rafe, though I do know that you three no longer love me. I wish you three well, and the new man in your life._

_Sincerely,_

_Magnus Bane_

Leaving the letter on the coffee table, Magnus stands up and creates a portal to Ragnor's house in the far country side of Idris. It is the best place he knows to stay until he can figure out what else to do.  

 


	6. Chapter 6

Stupid fucking Clave.

That is all going through Alec's mind as he sits on the damned meeting among the Heads of the Institutes. He had wanted Jace and Clary to sit in for him so he could be with Magnus, but, no. The Clave wanted every Head in the meeting, no stand-ins. As he reluctantly left Magnus's side he gave Izzy instructions (very strict ones) to call him first, and to give Magnus the new key to the loft.

Alec feels his heart squeeze at the thought of his and Magnus's home. He has not redecorated the loft ever since Magnus had been taken by Camille, every piece of furniture, every picture, they are all still in the exact same spot. The only thing that has really changed are the toys Max and Rafe play with, their bed frames and sheets. Other than that, every thing else is the same.

He had even mentioned that the stupid five-year separation-means-divorced-law only applies to people who have actually filed for separation, they still would not allow Alec to be by Magnus's side in case he woke up.

"Everything is fine here in L.A.," Says Andrew Blackthorn, Head of the Los Angeles Institute.

"That is bloody great, Andrew, but Milan still needs gear and weapons for our Shadowhunters. Hell! We  _need_ more Shadowhunters." Alessandro Ferrari, Head of the Milan Institute, claims.

Alec rolls his eyes, not professional, he knows, but he cannot help it. Nor can some of the others, Alec notes as he sees some of the others do the same. Alessandro has more than enough Shadowhunters in his Institute, he just wants more to out-number some of the Down World population, which is not going to work. It does not matter how many Shadowhunters one has, they will still never outrank the amount of Downworlders. 

Alessandro starts going on a rant about how he needs more Shadowhunters when all of the other Heads start to log off on the conference call. When Alec logs off he leans back in his chair, trying not to worry. His mind drifts to Magnus, he wonders how Magnus is doing. Did Izzy get her tests done? Is Magnus all right? Can he take Magnus home? As he gets up to start going towards the infirmary his phone goes off.

Izzy.

"Hey," he says answering.

"Hey, Magnus woke-up."

Alec can feel a smile on his face. Magnus is awake. That means that he is going to be fine, well physically anyway. Izzy has told him that Magnus may have gone under some pretty intense stuff the last five-years; from the rape to Camille drinking his blood to any other form of torture she put him through. Yet, he is awake, and that is all that matters to Alec. (If the pounding of his heart is an indication.)

"There is more," she continues. More? What else could there possibly be? Did. . . . Did Camille find a way for Warlocks----and a male one at that----to get pregnant? Is Magnus, in some sort of weird and twisted way, carrying Camille's baby?

_Even if he is, I will not abandon him. I will help with raising Camille's child and hope that the child does not turn out like their mother._

"Magnus is not here."

Alec feels his heart falter. "What do mean he is not here?"

"He woke up, and as I was getting ready to call you he asked me not to. I assumed he was going to stay, but that was before he left."

"He left?" Alec is sure Izzy nods her head even though he cannot see her. "Does. . . . Does he have the key." For a brief moment Alec wishes that he kept the key on him and did not give it to Izzy, but he wanted it to be one of the first things Magnus had when he awoke.

"Yes."

If Magnus took the key, then there is a chance that he may be at the loft. Maybe he is still there and Alec can finally get a chance to talk to him. Kiss him. Tell him how much he loves him and missed him over the last five years.

"Do you know where he went?" Alec chokes out, fearful of the answer.

"No. But if you want my guess, he probably went to the loft."

Alec thanks her before hanging up. He leaves his office and goes to collect Max and Rafe from the training room where they are training with Clary. He did not want his sons first memory of their missing father with multiple vampire bite marks on him in a hospital gown.

After he collects Max and Rafe with a goodbye to Clary and Jace, Alec and the boys make their way home.

* * *

Upon returning home, Max and Rafe, ever energetic went to their room to put their books away in their room before they start searching for Magnus.

"Magnus," Alec calls out, wondering where Magnus could be in the loft. He goes to the living room where he sees something on the coffee table. A piece of paper. He goes over and picks it up, reading the elegant handwriting that he has not seen in half a decade.

_Dear Alec,_

_Funny, isn't it, as I used to call you Alexander? That I used to be the only the only who did. But I know that you have another, whether he calls you Alec or Alexander I do not know, but I am glad for you. I do know that it is Nephilim law that when a couple is separated for five years they are technically divorced, and while in the eyes of The Clave we may be divorced, it is not that way among Warlock, we need to actually file for divorce and have it finalized._

_Do not worry about me, I have found a new place to live and I will not be a burden to you, your new lover, or Max and Rafe. Max and Rafe, they used to be our boys. Do not worry, as much as I would like to file a custody claim for them, I have been absent from their lives for the last five years and I do not wish to tear them away from the only father they have ever known, or fathers, rather; nor do I want to force them to get to know me. I will have a friend send the divorce papers to you, the ones that I filed and the finalized ones._

_I also saw the loft, how you decorated as if nothing has changed from the day I left. While I appreciate it, I know that that is not how you live your life now. It is with a heavy heart that I tell you that I still you, I am still in love with you and my five years of captivity have not changed that, nor has it changed my love for Max and Rafe, though I do know that you three no longer love me. I wish you three well, and the new man in your life._

_Sincerely,_

_Magnus Bane_

Alec holds the letter for a moment more before it falls back on to the table. The words of the letter blurry together and making crazy sentences and paragraphs form, yet still able to be read as they were written.

A knock on the door forces Alec to cut any thought he has short.

"Alec?" A familiar voice says from the other side as he goes to answer. It is a voice he has heard a lot during the years of Magnus's disappearance. One that wanted him to not give up hope but face reality at the same time, one that has tried to council him many times.

Catarina Loss.

 


	7. Chapter 7

"Cat," Alec asks, "what are you doing here."

She holds up the manila envelope under her arm. "Magnus sent these to me, he sent a note saying that I should give these to you. He going to be awaiting a response from me after I delivered them so he will tell me his location." Alec opens his mouth to speak when Cat holds up her hand, causing Alec to close his mouth. "I know Magnus Alec, he would have used his magic to see if I had delivered the envelope if I asked him of his location earlier."

"Can. . . Can you send him the response from here? Please Cat, I just need to know if he is safe." Alec opens the envelope to see a bunch of crisp white papers in it.  He pulls them out, placing the envelope under his arm as he skims over the papers. His breathing shallows, hands feeling light, his eyes going wide as he feels the start of tears in his eyes.

"Alec, what is it?"

"Separation papers. Magnus has filed. He states that the final divorce papers should follow soon enough since he has all of his belongings and is not filing for custody of the boys."

"Did he really say that he is not filing for the boys?"

"Not much in these papers, these are mostly just him saying that our divorce is going to respect both Shadowhunter and Warlock customs, and that since he has everything of his the last part for Warlock divorces to be final are coming soon. But he had mentioned that he will not file for custody for them in a different letter."

Cat quirks an eyebrow and asks to see the other letter. Alec brings her inside and they go into the living room where the letter from a moment ago that fell back onto the coffee table, the words visible for any of the current residences to see what the contents on the paper are. Alec gestures to the letter as Cat walks over it, her hands picking it up delicately as she reads the words.

"Alec. . . " She says as she looks at him after she is finished reading, eyes written with worry as Alec runs a hand through his hair. "Is this why you asked if I could send him the reply from here?"

Alec nods. "I really want to find him, see him again properly this time but he keeps dodging me. He didn't have Izzy call me when he first woke-up and when I found out that he had his key to the loft I assumed that I would find him here only to see that letter talking about how I am with someone else and how we are going to have a paper divorce alongside Shadowhunter law about people being separated for five years, he is not going to file for the boys, and all of his things missing. I really want him Cat, but. . . ."

"You don not have any idea what to do. You think that with Magnus's years of captivity he may have lost any. . . . hope. . . . he had for you and you fear that whatever happened to him, what Camille did to him, is making him act this way."

Alec nods. "Everyone knows that I have not moved on from Magnus since he went missing. Camille is the only person who would have lied to him and made up a fictional story about how I have moved on and am with someone else."

Cat places a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I will help you, but I am going to be sending the letter from my home. I know Magnus, in something like this he will trace where the letter is coming from, especially in a case where he does not want you to find him. Get the boys."

Alec does not argue and calls out for the boys. When they come out of their room Alec tells them to put their shoes and they go with Cat to her home in Queens.

 

 

Cat's apartment has blue and violet hues throughout, giving it a homey-type feel without using earthy tones. She has black leather furniture in the living room, her and Madzie's rooms down the hall. Madzie is currently attending a mundane school either in the mid-west or west coast part of the country. She had the opportunity to go to NYU or Columbia but she wanted to live somewhere that was not New York for a change, Cat agreed as long as Madzie kept her grades and GPA up or she would have to come back here and attend community college for a degree she does not want.

Everyone is afraid of Cat when she goes full-mother mode.

"Okay boys, the play room is all set up for you. Alec and I have some work to do." Max and Rafe know that many of their friends and family will call their father by his name, even when addressing them about him instead of saying "your Daddy." Alec recalls when Max and Rafe first tried to get him to start dating again (no doubt Izzy and Jace had gotten into their heads) and asked him about what he thought about Cat. Alec then told the boys that he only sees people like Clary and Cat in a platonic light since he prefers guys romantically. They tried again, and the boys found out he had been describing Magnus and groaned when they found out because they did not want their father to be chasing a cold trail until the end of his days.

As the boys run off, Alec follows Cat to her sitting room where she summons a piece of paper with only a few words before sending it to Magnus. Alec feels his heart hammer in his chest as he see the paper get engulfed in flames, going to Magnus. Will Magnus actually track the letter? Will his magic detect Alec if he does? Alec bites his lip, unsure of what to feel.

The tall man releases a breath he does not know he has been holding when a piece of paper comes back revealing Magnus's location to be in the idris country side, his old friend Ragnor's old home. "Can you portal me there?" Alec asks.

"Do you know where it is?"

"Yeah, Magnus took me there a . . . . few times, before Camille took him."

"I am not so sure if you going by yourself is the best for Magnus, Alec. Camille's games with his mind over the last five years. . . . "

"Please Cat," Alec hears the whine and desperation in his voice. "I just need to see him alone. I need him to hear me out, and I feel as if he will not hear me if there is someone else. He may even ignore me and act like I do not exist."

Cat bites her lip. "Fine," she reluctantly agrees. "But I am keeping a small window portal open to see what happens in case I need to portal there."

Alec agrees and walk through the portal Cat creates.

* * *

Magnus is anxious as he waits a reply from Catarina, wondering if she will ask to come over. Not that Magnus will deny her, of course. She will be the only one who can help him through the divorce and getting over Alec, finding a new place to stay because he is not staying in Ragnor's home for the next century. It is too close to Alicante, there is a high chance of him running into Alec, the boys, and the new man in their life one day. She also will not lie to him about Alec having not remained single at all during the last five years.

Magnus is currently sitting on the couch, arms wrapped around himself, as he waits for Cat's next piece of paper. Hearing a knock on the door Magnus goes and answers it. He hopes that it is Cat, that she wanted to surprise him without him losing his skin if she just portaled in. He wonders if she will be in her glamour that she usually wears at the hospital or if she will be showing off her blue-skin Warlock mark.

Opening the door Magnus prepares himself to see a healthy black woman with black hair or a healthy woman with white hair and blue-skin. Instead he sees a man in his mid-to-late twenties, black-wavy hair, hazel eyes, a grey shirt that used to be green, a black leather jacket, black pants, and black combat boots. No seraph blade or bow-n-arrow or any other weapon on him besides a steele that he most likely has in his pocket.

Magnus feels his heart stop, breathing still as he stares at the person.

"Alec." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, after I finish up this story (and maybe Thief, but I haven't decided on that one yet) I am going to be taking a break from fanfic. I don't know how long it will be or if I will come back. If I chose not to come back I will give off some of my series/stories.


	8. Chapter 8

"Alexan----Alec, what are you doing here?" Magnus asks he continues to stare at his soon to be ex-husband, trying to figure out why Alec is here. 

"I came to see you." Alec says sternly. "I----we need to talk." Alec seems nervous, as if he does not know what to do here.

"What is there to talk about, Alec?"

"Alexander."

"What?" Magnus looks at him in surprise and confusion.

"You call me Alexander, not Alec." Alec places a hand on his forehead. "May I come inside, Magnus, please?"

Magnus feels his heart squeeze, a little part of him does not want to be Alec in because it only means facing reality but a larger part of Magnus, his sadistic part, does want to allow Alec in, to be near him. Magnus steps back and gestures for Alec to enter. When Alec is inside Magnus closes the door and braces himself for the harsh truthful words that Alec is going to say.

"I read the letter you left at the loft." Alec starts off.

"What of it?" Magnus turns, wrapping his arms around himself.

"Magnus, I have no one else. I never wavered from you, no matter how much everyone else wanted me to move on."

"Why are you lying, Alec?"

"I am not lying and I told you to call me Alexander."

" _Alexander_ ," Magnus says his name harshly as if it leaves a burn on his tongue. "I was held captive for five years; Camille told me that you moved on and it made sense. You could not find me in the first year or two. It does not matter if you kept looking for me finding someone else even when still technically married to Nephilim and Warlock law only for the five years of separation kicked in for Nephilim."

"Magnus, listen to me, please." Alec reaches out and grabs a hold of his shoulders before taking them away as if he cannot believe he just touched Magnus. "I did not move on, even if I had I know the law better than most Shadowhunters, the five years of separation law is for Shadowhunters whom have filed for separation but never got finalized divorce papers. I looked into that a bit more when everyone started to want me to move on. First it was Izzy and Jace then Clary and Simon then the boys----"

"The boys wanted you to move on?" Magnus's voice is soft and quiet as he cannot believe that his and Alexa-----just Alec's sons wanted him to move on.

"They saw how miserable I was with you missing and they did not want me to be sad anymore. They were upset when they asked me what I look for in a person and ended up describing you. But you should have seen their faces when they saw you, when they were told that you have the new key to the loft, they went home and started looking for you."

Magnus cannot imagine it, the boys happy to finally have him back if they wanted Alec to move on. But he also can. Max and Rafe with smiles on their faces and looking all over the loft searching for their lost Papa. Magnus smiles at the thought until something Rafe had said comes back.

"You loved me."

"Of course I love you, Magnus."

Magnus shakes his. "No, I briefly woke up when you and Rafe were out the infirmary and he said that he knew how much you loved me, past tense, as in you do not love me anymore."

"No, Magnus. I told him that I love you, still love you. Magnus I assure you that there is no one else and I fiercely love you as all Shadowhunters do when they find their better halves." 

"Do you mean it?"

"Then why did you take your hands away?"

"I was not sure if you want anyone to touch you after Camille, I know what she did Magnus and most people do not like to be touched after it."

"Your touch is always welcome."

Alec then grabs both of Magnus's hand and places them on either side of his head. "Alec----Alexander, w-what. . . .?"

"I want you to cast a spell, look over the last five years if you still have any doubts about my faithfulness to you."

Magnus feels magic spark from his fingers. He considers casting the spell before he pulls Alexander in for a deep kiss, dismissing the thought. "Why did you kiss me?"

"Are you saying I should not have?"

"No, just curious as to why instead of casting the spell."

Magnus smiles. "I did not cast it as only you would suggest something like that and that is enough reassurance for me."

"Okay, but if you ever feel insecure about it, if you ever feel the need to look over my life over the last five years, you can."

Alec wraps his arms around Magnus's waist and Magnus wraps his around Alec's neck as they kiss again. "I am going to make love to you tonight." Alec declares when they pull away.

Magnus stiffens. "So soon, Alexander?"

Alec shakes his head. "Not like that. I am going to pamper you. I am going to make dinner, run you a bubble bath, everything." Magnus pulls Alec back in. After they pull away from this kiss Magnus snaps his fingers, burning the separation papers that he sent to Cat, then opens a portal to her home so they can get the boys. She had been so happy to see them together again, and with the boys as the family of three over the last five years did not appear right.

When they get home that night the boys go off to their room, dragging Magnus with them to fill him in on what he has missed as Alec makes spaghetti for dinner. After they finish dinner Alec sends the boys to bed as he gives Magnus the bubble bath he promised. He washed Magnus's hair, gave him a foot rub, and gave him a full back massage when he got out of the bath.

Both know that it is still going to take some time to get where they were before but, as Magnus snuggles more into Alec as they lay down to sleep, he knows that they are on the right track to recovery.

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me how you enjoyed it. If anyone also like The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer I have a fic up that's set up during/post-Winter.


End file.
